Dissenting on the Jersey Shore

July 7th, 2012

For the past 9 days, I have been basking in the glow of NFIB v. Sebelius. Fortunately, this is one of the few ways I can work on my tan without getting taxed. Lost amidst the enormous scope of the Affordable Care Act is the Snooki Tax. Yes, lest we forget that in addition to such key provisions as the individual mandate, community rating, gauranteed issue, and the Medicaid expansion was–gasp–a tax on tanning. Such an infringement of individual liberty knows no place in our republic. Alas, by upholding the Affordable Care Act, the Snooki Tax remains.

But, this travesty did not escape the attention of the joint-dissent.

The Act raises billions of dollars in taxes and fees, includ- ing exactions imposed on high-income taxpayers, see ACA §§9015, 10906; HCERA §1402, medical devices, see 26 U. S. C. §4191 (2006 ed., Supp. IV), and tanning booths, see §5000B.

The dissenters labelled this exaction among “the act’s minor provisions.”

Let the world always and forever remember that Justices Scalia, Kennedy, Thomas, and Alito would have ridden this world of the Snooki tax. Justice Alito, who hails from Trenton, likely has a special affinity for this shore pastime. And seriously, Justice Kennedy is a tad pale.

There is always the bill to repeal the Snooki Tax. Sponsored by the Representative from my home, Staten Island.