This Onion headline sees particularly apt in light of the setup in my new office: “Coworker With Two Computer Screens Not Fucking Around.”

FORT WORTH, TX—Credible sources within your office reported Monday that the guy on the third floor with two computer screens on his desk is not fucking around. “Amazing—he comes in here, sits down next to me and my one sorry-ass screen, turns on his two screens, and starts tearing it up,” marketing assistant Todd Piotrowski said as the guy dragged a window from one screen to the other, which sources confirmed was like watching fuckingMinority Report or something. “He’s got three, maybe four programs open on each screen, plus some sort of group video chat running nonstop—he’s going balls to the wall over there. How is he doing all this with only one keyboard?” Piotrowski also speculated that if there’s a limit to how many tabs you can have open in your web browser at once, this guy’s gonna hit it.

Two monitors? Pheh. I have 3 monitors, plus my laptop, plus my tablet. And I can tell you, I am slowly inching towards the maximum tab limit in Chrome. I keep getting these warning emails from Google telling me to slow down and turn around, but I disregard them. Because I can move a window from one screen to another like a boss.

H/T A lot of people who sent this in.