This weekend, my parents visited me in Louisville, and we visited the Improv at Fourth Street Live tonight to hear Rob Schneider do a standup set. He was excellent (other than the inevitable cringe of hearing jokes about certain unspeakable acts next to your parents).
In any event, Rob did a bit on the TSA, and started saying that their propensity to feel people’s balls is an unreasonable search, and violates the Third Amendment. Gaff. I really, really, really wanted to shout out Fourth Amendment, but I didn’t want to be that guy. Of all the hecklers, telling Rob I was a lawyer would give him way too much ammo. I would have been lampooned. So I stayed mum.
This reminds me of a time during a 2008 VP debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin. Biden, a former ConLaw Prof at Widener Law School, said something about the role of the Vice President, and said it’s in Article I. Well no, it was Article II. So I whipped out my pocket Constitution from my breast pocket (who doesn’t have one handy) and pointed the section out to the people nearby. For about 30 seconds, I was cool. (totally random aside, but I knew someone who took his class; apparently he showed up once or twice during the semester, and didn’t do jack; fitting preparation for the role of Vice President, which John Adams remarked: “My country has in its wisdom contrived for me the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived or his imagination conceived”).
Anyway, while it was probably appropriate for a vice-presidential debate, it wasn’t right for a comedy club.
Oh, and one fact I didn’t know. Schenider said that Rogaine was originally designed as a topical cream to increase heart-circulation. However, men who applied it to their chest started to grow nipple hair! So some genius figured it would work well as a drug to grow hair. Go figure! That’s like Viagra, which was invented as a hyper-tension drug, and a unintended side-effect was an erection! Genius!
Rob! You can do it!