Follow along. When your cable company keeps you on hold you get angry. When you get angry you go blow off steam. When you blow off steam accidents happen. When accidents happen you get an eye patch. When you have an eye patch you are tough. When you look tough they want to see how tough. When people want to see how tough, you wind up in a roadside ditch. By this logic, congress should be able to regulate wait times to prevent people from winding up in roadside ditches. It’s rational! Call it the Roadside Ditch Protection Act!