What if?

April 4th, 2011

On the holiday of Simchat Torah, when we finish reading the end of Torah, we immediately turn to the beginning of the scroll and start reading all over again. Sadly, season three of Jersey Shore concluded two weeks ago, and last week was the reunion special. In keeping with this tradition, I saw fit to turn to Season One of Jersey Shore, and re-watch the first episode. Oh how young, and different they looked. Sitch was much fitter. Ronnie was much thinner. JWOWW was much bitchier. Vinni was so more refined, and had fewer tattoos. Snooki, well, was odd. I just don’t get her in the first episode.

Snooks was late for work on the first day–the exact transgression that got Angelina fired by former-host Danny. If you may recall, Snooki almost left after the first episode. Fortunately, her father talked her out of it, and she stayed through.

I must ask, What if? What if Snooki had left? Where would we be today? What would the world, and pop culture have been like. Surely Jersey Shore would never have been the success it was without Snickers.

For that, I thank Snooki’s father. His persistence in encouraging his daughter to continue on a slippery slope towards absolute humiliation for our personal pleasure was greatly appreciated.