LOL @ Onion:
Historians and scholars nationwide heralded the discovery of a children’s menu on the back of one of the four original charters of the U.S. Constitution, Archivist of the United States John Carlin said Monday.
The menu—on the back of Article I, which establishes a bicameral Congress comprising the Senate and the House of Representatives—provides dining options for children under 7.
Here is my favorite part of the article:
Until now, scholars had focused on the elegant calligraphy on the Constitution’s front, entirely overlooking the reverse side, which features two columns of fancifully named menu items, such as Yankee Doodle Macaroni, Jumpin’ Johnnycakes, and Eagle Fingers.
“The wording of the Constitution is general, necessitating interpretation, and the same can be said for its children’s menu,” Carlin said. “We do not know exactly what the framers of the Constitution meant by ‘Eagle Fingers.’ Strict constructionists are likely to assume that they were strips of eagle flesh fried in batter, but loose constructionists might argue that the term was an amusing way to encourage children to eat their chicken or grouse.”