It seems the Egyptian government, in an unforseen post-Mubarak shakeup, has issued an order to all Jews in the Diaspora to return to the land of our forefathers, and make much-needed repairs to the Pyramids.

Citing thousands of years of grueling wear and tear on its famed pyramids, the Egyptian government recalled the Jewish people yesterday. The Jews, though currently spread throughout the world in a global Diaspora, are in the process of returning to Egypt to repair damages the Pyramids have suffered over the last 4,000 years.

The Jews were urged to return by a forceful letter sent to every Jewish household in the world. The letter strongly suggested they return, if they knew what was good for them.

I’ll go, begrudgingly, but I’m still waiting for my reparations for my ancestor’s bondage. I hope the reconstruction effort needs a liveblogger. I’m not sure how useful I’ll be schlepping large stones. I hear Egpyt has a dry heat. It can’t be much different from Scottsdale!