Mar 10, 2011

Posted in Uncategorized

Rename the Goethals Bridge the Situation Bridge

Staten Island Borough President James Molinaro seeks to sell the naming rights to the newly-renovated Goethals Bridge, which connects Staten Island and Elizabeth, New Jersey.

I have a proposal. Name the Goethals Bridge after Staten Island’s proudest son (he grew up in West New Brighton), a person who has brought more fame and notoriety to Richmond County than any other, the man, the myth, the legend: Behold, the Situation Bridge.

Think about all the fun word play. When there’s traffic on the bridge, you can simply say, “There’s a Situation on the Situation.” When you’re getting on the bridge, you can say “I’m getting situated.” When you’re crossing the bridge, you can say “I’m getting it in.” The possibilities are endless. You could even open up Gym, Tanning, and Laundry facilities at the foot of the bridge. It’s genius.

Sitch, this is all you.

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  • How about the Joshua Michael Blackman Bridge?

    • Josh Blackman

      As if I would want anything in Staten Island named after me?

  • Corey Carpenter

    They could refer to the inevitable potholes as the six pack.

    Also, this would make a great hypothetical for Election Law. Assuming the Situation was running for office like one of your past hypos, and then someone buys the bridge and does as you propose. Is it a campaign contribution? Does the analysis change if the Situation announces he is running after the bridge changes names? Secondly, how important is the identity of the bridge buyer to the analysis? Is the outcome different if MTV buys it, Bristol Palin does, the group New Jersey for Jersey Shore does, and is a registered lobbying organization, or if Professor Blackman does it because it was really funny and he was unaware of the Situation’s run for office?

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